I really appreciate this post. Thank you for sharing this step by step experience. I have often wondered what this is like for people who share such crucial yet vulnerable messages on social media and they go viral, and while I know the online hate is awful, this really helps me understand just how violent it is. You are so right. It’s a false choice. This hate is absolutely not necessary for us to live with.
I am horrified by the antisemitism hurled at you. I was not expecting that either. My heart breaks for you to experience that. I am thinking about how hard it is for survivors of all kinds of marginalized backgrounds to condemn abuse and face this kind of virulent racism as a way for others to feel safe—oh it only happens in THAT kind of community. When we know it happens in every single kind of community and class at equal rates. All of this serves to silence survivors and protect abusers.
I am so impressed about the support of friends and allies you share about here. That warms my heart and gives me hope for myself. I 💯 co-sign the choice to not only have a social media strategist helping you reach more people but also enlisting an assistant to give you a buffer between your work creating content and processing the response. That sounds wise for any storyteller but especially with advocacy to end CSA. I hope you eventually have many layers of self protection to keep doing this work. Also, these platforms are built to fuck with our brains and it’s awful. When we have trauma that already lives in our brains.
Last thing I want to say is that when you shared this story I kept thinking about the little child somewhere who is being abused right now, and who is afraid to speak out because she believes—senses—the whole world is against her. And in many ways, as you experienced, it is. And you stood up for her, with the help of friends. You stood up for me. For yourself. For all of us. I am grateful. It matters.
Molly- thank you so much for this beautiful comment. I feel really really really grateful that my early years on the internet when I was first open about my CSA and healing it was such an overwhelmingly positive experience. With healinghonestly.com, the vast majority of people were finding my work because they were googling in the middle of night looking for support. So the feedback was really beautiful and validating. It helped me build the confidence of being online and being publicly vulnerable in a really safe and affirming way.
Coming to social media feels like leaving my cocoon of survivor love and compassion and entering the rest of the world steeped in rape culture. It's pretty awful and also its the years of support from my online survivor community that helps me remember why the hell I'm doing this. It's been an unnecessary reminder of what all of us are up against as we try to just exist in the world.
Your words really bring tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for them. xo
It’s wild to me that this is an expected norm for queer, fat, Jewish, black/ brown and indigenous people to exist on the internet. I don’t know how yall do it, because one round of that and I’d be tapped out. Ps. Goslings are one of my favorite babies 😍
it's truly wild out here on these internet streets. I actually thought there was some level of therapy I could have achieved that would mean the vitriol wouldn't get under my skin...apparently it would require me not being a human any longer. For me, I have a really clear purpose as to why I'm doing it and that helps, but I also am already practicing taking breaks and evolving my boundaries as it all escalates. xoxoxo
I loved the post about Freud. I was shocked by the reaction that you described. I had no idea that Substack would make your posts available to people other than your followers. I have to say, I've been considering starting a Substack of my own, and you've talked me out of it. I have zero (and by zero, I mean minus five hundred and eighty) ability to tolerate discord, let alone hate. I can go into a tailspin for days if someone says in an email that they are upset with me (such as, for an ebay transaction). So I guess I will choose to remain anonymous to protect myself. Thanks for alerting me to this danger. I hope you continue to speak out, though!! It seems to be what you are "supposed to be doing" in the world. Carry on!
I really appreciate this post. Thank you for sharing this step by step experience. I have often wondered what this is like for people who share such crucial yet vulnerable messages on social media and they go viral, and while I know the online hate is awful, this really helps me understand just how violent it is. You are so right. It’s a false choice. This hate is absolutely not necessary for us to live with.
I am horrified by the antisemitism hurled at you. I was not expecting that either. My heart breaks for you to experience that. I am thinking about how hard it is for survivors of all kinds of marginalized backgrounds to condemn abuse and face this kind of virulent racism as a way for others to feel safe—oh it only happens in THAT kind of community. When we know it happens in every single kind of community and class at equal rates. All of this serves to silence survivors and protect abusers.
I am so impressed about the support of friends and allies you share about here. That warms my heart and gives me hope for myself. I 💯 co-sign the choice to not only have a social media strategist helping you reach more people but also enlisting an assistant to give you a buffer between your work creating content and processing the response. That sounds wise for any storyteller but especially with advocacy to end CSA. I hope you eventually have many layers of self protection to keep doing this work. Also, these platforms are built to fuck with our brains and it’s awful. When we have trauma that already lives in our brains.
Last thing I want to say is that when you shared this story I kept thinking about the little child somewhere who is being abused right now, and who is afraid to speak out because she believes—senses—the whole world is against her. And in many ways, as you experienced, it is. And you stood up for her, with the help of friends. You stood up for me. For yourself. For all of us. I am grateful. It matters.
Molly- thank you so much for this beautiful comment. I feel really really really grateful that my early years on the internet when I was first open about my CSA and healing it was such an overwhelmingly positive experience. With healinghonestly.com, the vast majority of people were finding my work because they were googling in the middle of night looking for support. So the feedback was really beautiful and validating. It helped me build the confidence of being online and being publicly vulnerable in a really safe and affirming way.
Coming to social media feels like leaving my cocoon of survivor love and compassion and entering the rest of the world steeped in rape culture. It's pretty awful and also its the years of support from my online survivor community that helps me remember why the hell I'm doing this. It's been an unnecessary reminder of what all of us are up against as we try to just exist in the world.
Your words really bring tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for them. xo
It’s wild to me that this is an expected norm for queer, fat, Jewish, black/ brown and indigenous people to exist on the internet. I don’t know how yall do it, because one round of that and I’d be tapped out. Ps. Goslings are one of my favorite babies 😍
it's truly wild out here on these internet streets. I actually thought there was some level of therapy I could have achieved that would mean the vitriol wouldn't get under my skin...apparently it would require me not being a human any longer. For me, I have a really clear purpose as to why I'm doing it and that helps, but I also am already practicing taking breaks and evolving my boundaries as it all escalates. xoxoxo
I loved the post about Freud. I was shocked by the reaction that you described. I had no idea that Substack would make your posts available to people other than your followers. I have to say, I've been considering starting a Substack of my own, and you've talked me out of it. I have zero (and by zero, I mean minus five hundred and eighty) ability to tolerate discord, let alone hate. I can go into a tailspin for days if someone says in an email that they are upset with me (such as, for an ebay transaction). So I guess I will choose to remain anonymous to protect myself. Thanks for alerting me to this danger. I hope you continue to speak out, though!! It seems to be what you are "supposed to be doing" in the world. Carry on!